`tHe NeVeReNdInG fAiRyTaLe~hApPiLy EvEr AfTeR iS nOt ThAt FaR iS iT?` RyAn & MiNdY

Sunday, March 26, 2006
1:22 AM

~a 1derful holi indeed!! ")~

dis is d most fulfilling n happiest 1 week+ holi i've since nov 2004! Just a recap of hw i spent my holi in reverse chronological order starting:

25 Mar (Sat)
2day morning 1045 was at dear's hm. watched him play fatal frame 3 til abt 2pm. enjoy watching him play wor. Coz he not like my gor use cheat guide 2 get thru d game.. i tink it's admirable coz he prefer 2 use his own effort 2 solve problems (yes i no i can't help gushing abt hw gd he is in my eyes :p). can actually tell a person's character when they r playing games. Eg like when i get frustrated in com games s a kid i'll slam d keyboard, make until keyboard spoil lor. gee. bad tempered n hate 2 lose.. after dat dear not enuf zzz n hungry so he had bread wif ham b4 he slept while i was giving him a massage. 3pm den went 2 take bus 2 go ballet class but den dis blur girl she saw no 12 which was after no 9 den she went 2 throw her can drink anyhow board d no 9 bus wifout looking n she kana shocked when she saw d bus turning in2 simei.. so she went arcade 2 c uncle, auntie licheng n wenjun 4 15 min. Coz no 12 bus stop 2 far den thgt might s well take cab. Glad 2 c every1 well n fine. Not 1st time board wrong bus coz nv look at no. tis like d 3rd time. N always happen take wrong bus b4 ballet class. Dis time waste $6 4 cab fare.

ballet class was gd 2day except that Ms Ho commented dat i shldn't throw my leg so high if it wasn't going 2 b straight n it was better 2 lift it at 90 deg wif a straight leg. N she said dat my flexibility wasn't there. Hope i can buck up n stretch more often, b MUCH more determined 2 lose 3kg so i'll b lighter 4 pointe wk. if i stil dun buck up, even if i make it thru intermediate dis sep i don't tink i can pass advanced I if i dun wk on my extensions n my pointe wk. I don't 1 2 stop dancing. i shld push myself harder coz i no i can do better than now. i may not b d best dancer but i can stretch n maximise my fullest potential. Really 1 2 take up argentine tango but i no 2 learn juz d basics will take a yr. Plus i no partner. coz dear not in2 dancing. den my violin lessons?? dunno can take next yr? Actually 1 2 take during uni yrs but $ is an issue. hmm. so many tings i 1 2 pursue but there's so little time n i'm getting older each day.

late 2 meet hui ting (650 instead of reaching at 630) coz i took 28 instead of d other 8s which r direct 2 interchange. Brain not wking well. we had a meal at long john TM n hui ting looked gd wif her permed hair thgh she seemed 2 dislike it n she was contemplating on cutting her hair. enjoyed juz talking 2 her. she's like my soul mate in d sense dat she can understand hw i feel n y i feel d way i do abt many tings. highly empathatic n a fren who provides a listening ear n never passes judgment on me when i do someting wrong. I'm fortunate 2 ve a best fren like her. Thgt dat i shld treasure my best frens Chun Ling n addy by calling at least twice a mth 2 catch up wif them n wat they r doing. i don't no how i can do wifout them. When i'm hungry or sumting they always buy fd 4 me 2 eat n care a lot 4 me. N d v least i can do is keep in touch n yet i can't even do such a basic ting. I'm ashamed of myself. :( but i'll wk harder on my frenships. hee, i thgt already if i'm getting married in d future i hope chunling n hui ting can b my bridesmaids. addy cannot already, coz she married already. But happy 2 c sunny n her building a new life 2gether. 5 yrs relationship n he's d guy she always 1ed. So loving. ") A bit sad thgh coz ling n ting not bery happy. ting just quit her stressful job den ling unhappy at wk. if only i can do more 4 them n cheer them up. I'm a lousy fren. muz consciously keep reminding myself 2 put my frens' needs b4 mine if i 1 2 change.

Ting n i went d pasar malam ard 10pm. I got dis backless brown chrochet top, sumting i always 1ed. N i had a reading again. d 2nd 1 dis yr. I'm 2 superstitious sumtimes but i'm always curious abt d unknown. it's like going 2 d fortune teller helps me understand myself better n esp now i'm at d time where i need 2 seriously consider my career options, d consultations r a useful guide 2 wat path i can pursue. basically dis was wat he said:

Character: Stubborn (i always get dis 4 readings), can't take hardship, cry ezily when i face an obstacle (eg kana bullied), wilful temper, timid, true in relations wif ppl, ppl gif free tings if i dun like i dun 1 it.

Money: spend $ like crazy. like sumting no matter hw ex muz get. Den not bad money luck.

Career: Shld pursue d arts or sports. Eg, modelling, dancing etc. Business totally out. Will face difficulty in my career but will ve help fr sum1

Health: No serious illnesses til i'm old n i had a serious condition when i was young (d time i nearly became an idiot coz i had high fever n kana fits, landed up in hospital wif drips n all)

Love: Passionate love relationships. throw my entire being in2 it.

Marriage: B a dutiful wife n mother in future (geez, dunno hw true dat'll b hope so ba.)

i thgt he was quite spot on so i got his hp no so i can consult him wif my dear 4 a compatibility reading in future.

I saw d apr issue of Maxim n d cover girl damn chio sia. hee, i tink i'll get it on mon coz i haven't read it b4 n dear said it's better than FHM which i enjoy reading. haha, i seem like sum lecherous tiko girl. bobian la, bisexual what 2 do?

24 Mar (Fri)
overslept at dear's hm den late 4 an hr 4 appointment wif yvonne. She seemed really pissed at me. but i dun blame her. She went 2 cut her hair while i was at Times reading. so many books i wanna get. i'm stil a book worm at heart. hee. D bks quite ex. All range fr $15-45. if i buy all 9 which i wana read i'm going superbroke sia. i tink it's over $200. After she finished we went 2 get sum bedding stuf which her ma asked her 2 buy. I bought 2 pillows, 1 4 dear dear 1 4 myself coz i thgt it seemed v comfy..

Den talked 2 yvonne at mac while waiting 4 wee wu. She said dat i've degenerated n i wasn't d girl i used 2 b in JC. I didn't no i was a girl who wldn't bow down 2 fate n had character in d past. Suddenly i've lost my morals n allowed myself 2 resign 2 watever life throws at me. i admit i always tink i'm wierd n i no i'm so flawed dat i hate myself. i can't help being pessimistic n cynical n i can't rem when was d last time i was happy. i'm trying v hard 2 change but it seems like i'm changing 4 d worse. i no she makes lotsa sense coz she's so rational while i'm d exact opp. I no d past experiences had shaped me in2 who i m 2day. i miss d girl who used 2 b optimistic n happy, always imagining her make believe world n who enjoyed life coz she loved learning. but it's difficult 2 turn back d clock. n there's no point in regretting anyting in d past coz i can't change my previous decisions. I'm trying 2 change my negative mindset, but i 1der hw much time i'll need. esp when i've lived wif this 4 d past 11 yrs,i've no idea whether i'll b successful in my quest 4 happiness.

We had dinner wif wee wu at dis jap restaurant in marina sq n i had ice cream 4 $9.20. We had a fun time chatting n later we went cavana coz it was much cheaper. It was enjoyable coz we cldn't stop laffing. went hm ard 10 fr city hall den went online 2 check mail b4 talking 2 ting on d fone.

23 Mar (Thu)
went dear's hm ard 815 den jus watched tv n slacked 2gether. slept quite early compared 2 usual days. But a little sad.

22 Mar (Wed)
Stayed over at dear's cca chalet til i left ard 5. Watched him play fatal frame 3 in d afternoon. Went 2 meet hui shan ard 7+pm. She treated me 2 MOS burger. d chicken was delicious. 1der if i was hungry or sumting. comforted 2 no she's getting on fine except dat she found her job boring. I guess wk life is really complicated n can cause ppl 2 b vexed. Had a great time talking 2 her n catching up wif wat had been happening in her life. I like dat she's so true 2 herself. She's frank n straightfwd: d type of frens i wld like 2 ve n not sum1 who's hypocritical n dense.

21 Mar (Tue)
Went dear's cca chalet after ballet class n at 815pm. read my First mag n new paper while dear play game.

20 Mar (Mon)
Went Allen's chalet at nite after meeting joseph 2 pass him his bday card n treat him 2 cookies. Chat wif joseph so long until my poor dear worried 4 me coz i din msg him. Sorry wor. supposed 2 read at 4pm den n up 8+pm den reach d chalet. ate so much bbq fd! I'm like a greedy pig! Talked wif dear at d beach.. v happy day.. ")

imlost...
inafairytale