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~LyRiCaL sTaR~
Name:SnOw
Age:23
email:obsessedwithblue@hotmail.com (for msn and friendster)
Birthday:07 Nov 1983
Horoscope:Scorpio
Lurves
Darling Ryan
People who care esp my besties, gd pals, bro
being different
dreaming
Hates
Deceit
Broken promises
Hopes for
Happiness
I'll be with my darling for a lifetime
Darling will enjoy happiness, success and good health
bro and elisa get back together
happiness and good health for my family and friends
being able to smile on my birthday this year
More tangible stuff
A 2B bike license
A better digital camera *greedy peeg >.<
Sony Ericsson k800i mobile phone
Good grades for school
Pass my Advanced I ballet exam next year (with flying colors not just a pass, gee i wished for a pass in my inter exam n i got just dat. Grr)
Reach my goal of 45kg (Y does it seem so far away? Haiz.. Lack of self-ctrl.. I'll sell my soul just to be thin)
Thursday, January 05, 2006
5:10 PM
~Day 4 reflection~
Yesterday sum tings happened 2 my dearest fren which made me experience an emotional rollercoaster ride. Brother, I felt v sad when u quarrelled wif ur gf. The words u used on each other when we were conferencing over d fone were so harsh that it made me 1der how 2 ppl who love each other so much can bear 2 hurt each other. Yes, I felt caught in d middle. I'm sorry u felt that i was siding wif her but u losing ur cool n temper was just not right. If u were 2 commit suicide yesterday, I'll never 4give myself coz I wasn't there 4 u 2 listen n stop u fr carrying out that act. I can understand hw u felt during that moment: That it wasn't fair when u r the 1 who gives more in d relationship n sumtimes u r treated not s wat u've expected. I just hope u can try 2 ctrl ur temper coz that rage n anger is scary n i no ur gf is afraid of u coz of that. When u give in a relationship, it's hard not 2 expect sumting in return. At d v least u hope that u'll b treated nicely by ur partner n dat they appreciate wat u've done. If u 2 were no longer 2gether i'd wldn't b happy also. I just hope u really mean wat u say dat u'll try 2 change. Coz it's not ez 2 find sum1 whom u'll love so madly in dis lifetime. It's all so ez 2 say let's break up when things aren't wking out but it takes more courage 2 hang in there n try 2 solve d problems.
Love is lots of hard wk. It isn't like wat we c in d movies so lovey dovey all d time n dat ez 2 manage. There is a lot of give n take, commitment, compromise, tolerance n understanding involved. Communication is v important especially when certain issues arise. It took me sum time 2 realise dat raising ur voice n shouting will not help matters n it'll just alienate ur partner fr u. Den if they've done sumting wrong, we have 2 try 2 forgive instead of harping on it when disagreements come up. I think it's v impt 2 find sum1 who can complement u n accept ur faults n shortcomings so that there wld not b any character clash.
Dear dear, I'm v grateful that u r in my life n I hope we'll never need 2 argue or fight. I've been v happy these days n just knowing that u r there 4 me no matter rain or shine brings a smile 2 my face. When I look in2 ur eyes i can c d concern, care n love. Sorry4 always staring at u when we r 2gether. Can't help it :P. U r the most amazing person who has appeared in my life n I hope I can share everyting wif u excluding bad things or events which i hope will fall on me only n not on u.
Lately, I've been feeling rather stupid. Mayb being in a happy state of mind makes ur mind empty. I never knew wat was it like 2 b happy other than d time when I was still a 5 yr kid. N I've been envious of ppl who seem 2 b able 2 achieve dat. But beyond d surface, there lies something beneath which contradicts the image we c. The seemingly happiest ppl r actually sad souls deep inside n they've 2 present a happy image 2 ppl evryday. I 1der hw they r able 2 do dat. It's v difficult to conceal hw u feel inside n do something else. It's like lying 2 urself each n every day. I just wish u can b truly happy n not ve 2 suppress wat u feel inside just coz society n other ppl expect us 2 give them dat happy face. Sumtimes ppl can b v fake n superficial n they just 1 2 c wat they 1 2 c. N up we've 2 entertain their whims n desires. If they were truly our frens, they wldn't leave us in d lurch when we r in d pits n not expect us 2 entertain them wif some silly happy image we feel forced 2 upkeep. N I'm not afraid 2 no dat I've never been popular coz i don't 1 2 entertain ppl anymore. I'm not a clown n I'll lead my life s i like. I don't 1 2 live my life s a lie n lose myself. I just 1 2 b true 2 myself n dat's d best life i can lead.
1 Comments:
Ras said...
dear..i wanna be wif u even in ur greatest dispair moments..i wanna share e pain u're feelin..i wud rather mi havin those pains den 2 see u in any sorta pain..
11:50 PM
imlost...
inafairytale
